Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I've learned more than I want to know...about Minecraft

The title speaks for itself. I'm sure there are lots of parents out there who can relate. With that being said, I made a meme. You can right click, and choose "save as" to download. :)

Single Moms ROCK! Memes For Facebook...

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Gen X'er (Me) vs. Millenial (My Daughter) The Communication Gap Is Real!

I have begun to embrace the fact that I am getting to be what is now considered an old lady to anyone under the age of thirty. I refer to my age in the form of dead celebrities. When people ask my age I say " I'm 3 years older than dead Elvis", or "I'm 18 years older than dead Janis". I am pretty sure that my reason for doing so was to try and make it more of a guessing game. An avoidance, if you will. This began to backfire on me when the younger generation began to say things like "Who's Janis Joplin?" and "Elvis?! I know him. My grandma listens to his music all the time." I had my daughter late in life. I was 35 years old when she came into this world. She has blossomed into the ten year old who consistently, yet lovingly, reminds me of my age with one line: "Mom, it's not called that any more." She says it so much, in fact, that I have started to question my former education. It seems that everything I was ever taught was nothing but a temporary placeholder until something new came along. It is for this reason that I find it difficult to even communicate properly with her. I blame technology and text speak, another term I use that brings my daughter to her knees in fits of LOL's. Other words that fall into the list of, as my daughter would put it, NCTA (Not Called That Anymore) are:

  • Jogging pants - now called sweat pants. "You mean you used to wear special pants for jogging? Wow! That's lame." 
  • Pound Sign - now called hashtag. "What did you call that? Oh em gee, Mom, where do you come up with these things?" 
  • Joystick - now called game controller. Daughter: Want to play a video game with me? Me: Sure! Hand me the joystick! Daughter: The what?! Me: The thing you use to play the game. Daughter: Oh em gee, Mom! It's not called that anymore! It's a game controller! Me: Oh. Wow! Look at all the buttons. Daughter: LOL! 
A few more NCTA's include: notebooks (no paper here!), Tennis shoes (you know, special shoes for playing tennis. NOT!)

In a world full of internet slang, it can be tough for an old lady like me. When something is awesome, I can't say "that's the bomb diggity". If it's raining really hard I can't say "that's loud enough to beat the band". I would only be met with a pitiful stare, combined with a head shake, and perhaps the question "what does that mean?". Due to my advanced years, I'm sure that by the time I have written this article, I will have forgotten that people don't say these things anymore. I find it rather sad that the kids nowadays will never know the "joy" of shooting through twenty levels of Space Invaders, with nothing but a "stick" and a button. I think that they are lucky to never know the frustration of "pounding" a button on a phone, attached to a cord in the wall, in order to speak with the next available representative. I'm fairly content with sweat pants. I never really did much jogging in them, to be honest. The bottom line is, I'm probably never going to be able to "keep up with the Jones'" of internet slang. My daughter's embarrassment is a small price to pay if you ask me. After all, there has to be some fun in this parent/child journey for me, right? I suppose I'll just have to "roll with it". "Word to your mutha!"

"Oh em gee! Mom!"

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Don't Blame The Cinnamon

Let's face it, our children are NOT growing up in our Gen X world. You know, the world where we knew that the bulb in our easy bake oven would burn like the throne of Satan if we touched it. The world where our mother made us behave and act like humans instead of animals. The world where you had to ASK if you could go into the kitchen and even if you were gained admittance, you certainly were not allowed to climb on the stove and raid the kitchen cabinets like a rabid raccoon. That world. The world where there was a thing called parenting. I recently read a news item about a 4 year old boy who died from cinnamon asphyxiation. That's right. Cinnamon asphyxiation. My first reaction to this story was to wonder where this child's mother was at the time. Was she staring at her phone? Was she indisposed in the bathroom? Was she outside checking the mail? Nope. None of these things. My understanding from the articles I have read is that she was IN THE KITCHEN at the time. Her story states that he was climbing on the stove one minute, and dying from cinnamon the next. Here was my next quandary. Who lets their children climb on stove tops? What if the stove had been on? Have you not taught your child that a stove is dangerous, could be hot, and could also kill, or gravely injure him? No. You did not. Everyone is allowed to raise their children as they see fit. But, when your children are dying then I think you need to take a closer look at your parenting skills. The mother has come forward to speak about this incident. She wants the world to know what most people already know "Cinnamon can kill you". You are seriously going to blame the cinnamon, and a viral Youtube video called the Cinnamon Challenge? Riddle me this, how did your 4 year old child even know about a "cinnamon challenge"? I don't think the Cinnamon Challenge video had anything to do with this incident. I think this mother is trying to blame anyone but her own self for her child's early demise. I would like to think that this woman might be asking herself how she could have avoided the death of her child. Maybe say to herself "I probably shouldn't have let my child climb on the stove", or "I should have been paying attention to what he was doing". But, I doubt it. Instead of taking any responsibility she is going to blame the cinnamon. Perhaps instead of blaming the helpless bottle of inanimate cinnamon, you could tell the world to keep watch over their children better. What about the danger of climbing on stoves? Don't you need to address this matter? Would it have been different if he had died from burns, than cinnamon? I grew up around cinnamon, you grew up around cinnamon, we all grew up around cinnamon. No one I ever knew as a child died from cinnamon. Why is that? Because we had parents who parented. Don't blame the cinnamon.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Ol' Bessie and Minecraft

It all began with another child in my house wanting to play Minecraft with her cousin. Sure! I said. Let me set everything up on our other computer. I began downloading cousin's Minecraft. Easy peasy. I go and get a copy of Minecraft Server 1.7.10 and download it onto the computer. Easy peasy, again. We were ready for Minecrafting together. YEAH! It's an old computer, I call her "Good ol' Bessie". She still runs great! I load up Minecraft 1.7.10 and Minecraft says Ol' Bessie has an outdated graphics card, and in the future probably won't be able to run Minecraft 1.7.10 (the latest version) or higher. It will require OpenGL 2.0.  I went ahead and attempted to log in to the server anyway, since the future wasn't here for me yet. I am met with another error message. "The server you are logging into is outdated". DAMN! I'm up and running into the other room to update the server on our other computer. Once I arrive at the other computer, I am off again to the Minecraft website to download the new version of the server, which is also 1.7.10. I would like to point out that we were using 1.7.5, which worked fine for us. Anyhoo, once I updated to 1.7.10, we lost EVERYTHING from the former world they were playing in, and couldn't retrieve it. Six months of house building, horse training, gardening, mining, zombie killing, beacons, and chests full of goodies are ALL GONE. My daughter took it well, as I said, no problem, you can just start a whole new world. After several hours of updating, and editing server files, which was REQUIRED for the server to run, I had the server up and going on her computer. Next up, return to the other room and do all of this all over again on another computer. Two hours of updating driver files for the graphics card to run better, editing files, AGAIN, I have the other computer ready for logging in to the server. Minecraft 1.7.10 won't even run on Ol' Bessie, and crashes. To make a long story even longer, Bessie wouldn't work with 1.7.10, 1.7.9, 1.7.8, and on down the line. DAMN! Minecraft 1.6.4! Surely to God, Bessie would run it! With sweat on my brow, I changed the profile to 1.6.4! It loaded! Hurray!!! Back to the other room to change the profile to 1.6.4, then back again to log on to the server. DAMN! The updated server won't even run versions of Minecraft under 1.7.10! I threw my hands into the air! Minecraft and its makers had sucked enough of this mom's day away! I Google my problem, only to discover that the only solution to it is to BUY a new graphics card for ol' Bessie. Let me just tell you this, Minecraft. It will be a cold day in hell before I start buying expensive new graphics cards for my computers just so my kid can play a GAME on the computer. Not to mention, you should be ashamed for this, since there are lots of kids out there who will be unable to play their Minecraft anymore, all because they can't afford a new graphics card for their computers. I don't want to hear about Minecraft Realms as a solution, either. It costs $13 a month. That's a lot of money to some people! Especially a house full of kids. I live by the motto, "there is more than one way to skin a cat". I chose to delete all of the server crap off our computer, and set them up a LAN world. They can't play online, but that suits me just fine. They can at least play together. It is rather sad, because my daughter had friends who live in another state that she played with, and they really enjoyed it. Setting up the Open To Lan wasn't so easy, either.  In order for them to play above version 1.4.2 on the LAN, I had to go into Firewall settings and allow java exceptions. Maybe one day they will create an addicting game that doesn't require a geek mom in order for their kids to play it! That would be TERRIFIC! After all was said and done, my daughter sat playing with her cousin on Minecraft. They were happy. And when my babies are happy, I am happy. I looked over at my daughter and said "Aren't you glad you have a geek mom? Pretty cool, huh?" and she said "Yes, it is cool! BUT, you know what would make you even better?"

I responded "No, what?" as I could not imagine anything better. My mom sure wasn't a geek.

And she said, "If you were a unicorn! A geek mom unicorn, that likes pop tarts!"

Kids. It's never good enough.